Book Review: When Your Child is Gay: What You Need to Know by Wesley C. Davidson and Dr. Jonathan Tobkes

For a while, I didn’t really know how to start this post, then decided to just tell you the reason why I choose to review it: I still think there is too much homophobia in this world and if there is any small way I can help promote acceptance, I will do it.

When Your Child is Gay: What You Need to Know is written by Wesley C. Davidson, a popular blogger on gay rights issues, and Dr Jonathan Tobkes, a New York City-based psychiatrist. It is a collection of case studies, interviews and doctoral advice with the aim to help families navigate better when a child comes out as gay.

I should let you know here that I am not gay and I haven’t had the experience of a close family member or friend coming out as gay, so I can’t vouch for any advice in this book personally. I don’t want to offend anybody by reviewing this book but I would like to hear your thoughts in the comments.

The part which appealed to me most in this book was the inclusion of personal stories. There were some pretty heartfelt stories, either because of fully accepting and loving parents, or because of my sympathy for the storyteller who had to experience cruel rejection. There was also some good advice provided through the stories as many of them came from a parent rather than the child themselves.

I also felt the “doctor section” of the book was very well done. Each chapter of the book recalled stories of parents and children who went through various stages of emotion: anger, denial, acceptance, etc. We hear real life stories, as a reader, and are then provided with a medical opinion as to why the parents were feeling like this. It was a good insight into the human brain, and the advice given in this section was valuable.

However, I feel that the most beneficial aspect of this book was that it was written by someone who has been through this, someone who wasn’t afraid to admit that, although they are very supportive, also went through stages of disbelief. This made for a non-patronising tone to the book.

Personally, I found this book an interesting read from the psychology point of view. However, I think there is so much more to be taken from it if you are in the position of having a gay child. Check this out if you are, or recommend it to someone you know; I think they will thank you for it.

This book was sent to me in exchange for an honest review.

When Your Child is Gay: What You Need to Know by Wesley C. Davidson and Dr. Jonathan Tobkes
When Your Child is Gay: What You Need to Know by Wesley C. Davidson and Dr. Jonathan Tobkes


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