I am Irish because…..

….I complain about the weather. No matter where, no matter how. I will always be too hot/cold/sweaty/wet etc. I will also talk about the weather at any given opportunity and compare it to Irish weather: “In Ireland we have no seasons”; “In Ireland it always rains”; In Ireland it is a different kind of cold”.

….I presume everything will be ‘grand’ no matter what the issue is. “I will lose everything I posses over the next two days? Ah sure, it will be grand”.

….I brag about having a national language I can’t actually speak.

….I enjoy a good funeral. Don’t judge me. Funerals often end with the best craic.

….I think cabbage is the ultimate vegetable.

….I think flat boiled 7up cures everything (Most other Irish people would say tea here but I am not a fan. Once I had boiled Tanora. Not good at all).

….I don’t like to pronounce every letter of a word. Cheers, chairs – they are all the same.

….I rarely call anybody by their real name instead preferring ‘yer man’ or ‘yer one’.

….I call all crisps Tayto’s. There is no other way.

….I get a tug in my heart every time I think of home